Whilst it is an established fact that I absolutely love Godzilla films, I am in no way saying that they are all good! Now this is not one of those occassions where you list a series of things, in which they are all good, and then point out the bottom five, which are at the bottom for not being as good, but are still good, and are unfortunate for being not as good as the others. No! Some films in the Godzilla film series; are bad!
Whilst the series has produced some that can be considered absolute corkers, perhaps even legends of cinema, it has also produced some that are totally pants! Like bad for a reason, not for the above stated occurence. These issues in the films can be easily seen and pointed out, and to some regard could be considered necessary, as they carry important reminders as to how not to make Godzilla films in the future.
In another way of thinking, when a new film comes out, and it’s panned by both critics and audiences, all you need to do is compare it to the bottom five and say: “Well, it’s not great, but it could be worse!”, and in those circumstances, it could help the film become a potential classic – at least by comparison – (Apologies if this comes across as rambling).
Since 2019, I have been posting lists on My Top 5 Favourite Godzilla Films from each decade so far, and am waiting until I have covered each completed decade before I give my Top 10 Films over all decades so far. But, I still think it might be fun to list which films in the series I and (potentially) others don’t like to think about either. So, perhaps now, on the eve of the the series 70th Anniversary, it’s time to look back, on darker days, and move on to a hopefully more glorious Godzilla based future.
Choosing my Bottom Five, was actually pretty easy. I always feel a sense of passion when I write these lists, but at the same time you can get passionate about something you don’t like. So, I just had to choose the films in the series I don’t like, with a Passion. In fact the total number of films I could point out from the entire list of films so far, and say I didn’t like very much, was seven.
Now whilst I could do my usual thing of highlighting the other two films in a noteworthy section before the list itself, that could be considered a bit overkill. Instead I might just leave one or two refences between the paragraphs, to allude to those two. Maybe add two or three more films, just to act as red herrings, debating (for the time being) which films those are…oohh, Spooky!
So, Anyway, without further ado, here are My Bottom 5 Godzilla Films (or Top 5 Least Favourite Godzilla Films if you prefer); Enjoy!
5. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II – After salvaging the remains of Mecha-King Ghidorah, the United Nations sets up a Godzilla counter measures task force, and use the advanced technology of MechaKG to build a giant Mecha modeled after Godzilla himself, to try and finally defeat the monster once and for all!
Dissapointing, that’s the word that can best sum up this entry in the series. After years and years, of not being able to see this film due to it not being available in the UK, and spending quite a bit of time perhaps hypeing it up myself based on what I knew of the plot, and the monster designs; I watch a film, that is painstakingly long, and rather dull. The chase sequence involving Godzilla chasing a box with his son inside is kind of boring due to lack of chase music (why couldn’t they insert Bio Wars, or Countdown from Biollante to hype up the situation?). Then the final fight gets to a point where nothing happens for what feels like an age before Rodan shows up. There are some rewarding points. Firstly Rodan’s first appearance is a rather awesome scene, particularly the far away shot. Mechagodzilla’s launch sequence is pretty cool to watch. The attack sequence featuring G-Force vs Godzilla is quite an epic scene all by itself. And Mechagodzilla’s Garuda form is kind of Fantastic. But the rest of the film fails to hold-up to these more herculean sized qualities!
4. Godzilla: The Planet Eater – After the events of the previous film (see below), a ritual is conducted to awaken the one beast a rogue group of fanatic cultists, think can rid this world of Godzilla!
If Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II could be considered disappointing, then the best word to phrase this film, would be borring! I sat down to watch this film, not expecting much (given the previous entry…see below), and then the end product was so confusing, that it lost my attention. Instead of being confused enough to go back and try and work it out, I just let it happen, and finish. Thankfully this attention to borring has made this entry forgettable, although I can still picture points about it. Firstly, given that Godzilla in this is the villain, why would a desperate attempt by a group of fanatical cultists be a bad thing? And on that point, why wait until now to summon King Ghidorah, aren’t things bad enough as it is?! The fight between the two is hypnotically dull as they don’t really do all that much. And then the film ends by basically ignoring the entire point and story development (if you can call it that) of the entire trilogy, in a way that makes you ask the most important question of all: “What was the point of any of it?!”
3. Godzilla vs. Megalon – A lost undersea civilization has had enough of constant nuclear tests, and decides it’s time to wage war with the surface, unleashing their ‘God’ Megalon upon the world!
Putting this one here after Planet Eater does feel a little cruel, but it can’t be ignored how poor this film is. It’s not too bad, if you remove the bad production decisions that went into making this film. The human story has it’s merits, and Megalon is a preety cool monster, albeit a pretty weak one in combat. The film’s frequency with using stock footgae is practically criminal, as it seems half of the film is made up of footage either from other movies, or more frequently towards the end; itself. Serioulsy, a few moments in this film at the end are just looped moments you’ve already seen. And don’t get me started on the moment Megalon is swatting jet planes with Gigan‘s hooks! Add to that the soundtrack is pretty ridiculous, especially that used for Godzilla’s arrival. It’s a bad one, but credit where credit is due, at least it tries hard enough not to be the absolute worst!
2. All Monsters Attack – A bullied young kid, whose parents are always at work, likes to imagine that he is friends with Minilla, and they engage in a series of adventures on Monster Island!
Once upon a time, this was the worst of the worst in the Godzilla series, but now it’s two times better than that as something has stolen that crown from it. All Monsters Attack is a weird film. In a nutshell, it’s like a clip show in an American TV series. It’s a series of events from previous films, strung together with a vague plot in the middle. The plot of a bullied young kid learning to stand up for himself with help from a giant monster is all well and good, but it feels like it’s sending out the wrong message, by suggesting the best way to overcome violence and torment, is with more violence?! The film’s use of stock footage to make up the film though could be forgiven, if it wasn’t for the constantly changing head shape of Godzilla over the last decade, or the unsubtle changes in day and night (such as the fight between Godzilla and Ebirah, where for them its at night, but the kid and Minilla are watching it from the shore, during the day). It’s a very poor film, and it can feel harsh to be this negative about it, when Ishiro Honda clearly had an interesting vision for it, but making a clip show with so many continuity errors, cannot be overlooked!
1. Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle – After failing to take back the Earth from Godzilla in Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters, the surviving humans discover a strange lost city, which may hold the key to their victory!
This is a hard one to describe. Looking back, I can remember somewhat enjoying bits of it, like the final battle, the soundtrack in the final battle, and how the animation pleasantly reminds me of Zoids: Chaotic Century. On the other hand, we have a film where characters mumble on at top speed, with no real clear direction as to where any of it is going. Something which gets heightened even more by a sudden twist, involving characters sacrificing themselves into a city? Mechagodzilla gets teased about in the first film, so you automatically expect him to be a part in a future film. Well, he’s here in spirit. I cannot remember seeing him in body form in this film, as he weirdly evolves from a giant robot, into a city. Why? Why can’t the massive robot fight Godzilla, why does he have to be a city? Maybe he does appear, But I try not to think about this film too much, as it’s just too weird. Not weird in a good way though, not like so weird it’s good, because it isn’t! It features a plot trying to hard to be detailed, whereas it should have stayed as simple as possible, by say, having a giant monster fight a giant robot, rather than a giant monster, fighting a living city!
Any Idea, what the other two films might be?
Things I Like 
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